The Lynchmob: A Poem
I bought a Webster's rhyming dictionary at DI last weekend for fifty cents. Not that I'm going to start spouting poetry, and if I did it wouldn't be the kind that rhymes, but I've theoretically made huge improvements to many country songs with it. (Sometime I'll blog about the worst rhyme ever attempted in country music. I'm aware that there's offensive rhyming in other genres- look at rap. Country's just the one I pick on, because it's so darned fun.) I've enjoyed poetry since I memorized The Cremation of Sam Mcgee at the age of eleven, but I have to tell you what's way more fun: reading the dictionary's rhyming pairs pages outloud as fast as you can. It's funny when you get them right, but it's downright hilarious when you screw up. Toss rum and coke into the equation, and you're all set for a really good time. Or maybe it's just me.
There was the niftiest thread a while back on Dave Barry's blog (talk about a warped group of bloggers, those are it- and I mean that in the most affectionate way) about Poetry.com and the opportunity to post bogus and/or booger-related poetry. I'm too lazy to link you directly there, but the gist of it was that there's really no way to regulate such abuse by people (like Dave's hilarious cultmembers, who posted terrible poetry under the most obscene common surname they could think of) and that the premise of the whole Poetry.com site was pretty cagey anyhow. I think it stemmed from an online article about a couple of unrelated people who were pretty steamed about receiving a notice from Poetry.com that they had won a poetry contest and could purchase a volume of poetry with their works featured as the winning entry, only to discover that everyone who submitted an entry received the same offer. Now to me, that's just good marketing. But I'm different that way.
To me, poetry is a debatable form of literature. I love anything T.S. Eliot or Edgar Allen Poe or Roberts Frost and Service, but one must admit that not everything that rhymes is quality literary expression. I say poetry is to literature as abstract is to art. It's so sketchy. Anybody could slap some words or paint together and demand it be labeled genius, because it's so "expressive." But where is the skill involved? Where is the requisite talent? Sometimes I look at modern poetry and think my God, it's just a cop-out, just a way to avoid learning proper grammar and punctuation. Don't get all huffy if you're a poet; I'm not saying it's a bad thing to express yourself if that's the way you want to. Just pay attention to meter, and for God's sake use a spellchecker. I'm partial to haiku; those are hard to mangle. 5-7-5, folks. Also, the humor potential of a limerick is super. Whatever you do, don't write me a long column of unpunctuated phrases that have no rhythm at all. I'll send it back to you bleeding red ink.
There was the niftiest thread a while back on Dave Barry's blog (talk about a warped group of bloggers, those are it- and I mean that in the most affectionate way) about Poetry.com and the opportunity to post bogus and/or booger-related poetry. I'm too lazy to link you directly there, but the gist of it was that there's really no way to regulate such abuse by people (like Dave's hilarious cultmembers, who posted terrible poetry under the most obscene common surname they could think of) and that the premise of the whole Poetry.com site was pretty cagey anyhow. I think it stemmed from an online article about a couple of unrelated people who were pretty steamed about receiving a notice from Poetry.com that they had won a poetry contest and could purchase a volume of poetry with their works featured as the winning entry, only to discover that everyone who submitted an entry received the same offer. Now to me, that's just good marketing. But I'm different that way.
To me, poetry is a debatable form of literature. I love anything T.S. Eliot or Edgar Allen Poe or Roberts Frost and Service, but one must admit that not everything that rhymes is quality literary expression. I say poetry is to literature as abstract is to art. It's so sketchy. Anybody could slap some words or paint together and demand it be labeled genius, because it's so "expressive." But where is the skill involved? Where is the requisite talent? Sometimes I look at modern poetry and think my God, it's just a cop-out, just a way to avoid learning proper grammar and punctuation. Don't get all huffy if you're a poet; I'm not saying it's a bad thing to express yourself if that's the way you want to. Just pay attention to meter, and for God's sake use a spellchecker. I'm partial to haiku; those are hard to mangle. 5-7-5, folks. Also, the humor potential of a limerick is super. Whatever you do, don't write me a long column of unpunctuated phrases that have no rhythm at all. I'll send it back to you bleeding red ink.
posted by A at
1:09 PM
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