Spider Infestation Update

It would appear that I have discovered the ideal anti-arachnid device. Devices, actually- they come in pairs. Size 9M black leather Tommy Hilfiger clogs with a three-inch black wooden base and black rubber soles. I don't feel a hint of the nauseating crunch; the hairy bastards just die. I mean obliviated, on any surface- carpet, linoleum, concrete, denim. So bring on the hobo, the brown recluse, the daddy-long-legs. I'll leave the mutilated bodies for the cats to play with.