FunTime

The people upstairs are making so much noise. If I hadn't seen them at Maverick with a butchered pine tree strapped to the roof of their van, I'd wonder what the devil was happening. As it is, I now know that these people can't do a damned thing without arguing.

I've added a list of links to my favorite productivity enhancing Internet games to the side bar there, so your boss can get as much work out of you as mine does out of me. A word of warning: Bowman is totally addictive. Lose-track-of-time-and-stay-late-at-work addictive. Some people find Bubblebees annoying, but it's soothing to me. It's where I go when it's too cold to run around the outside of the building in my shirtsleeves to wake myself up, even though it has the opposite effect. And pengu/penguin smack/yeti games are absolutely the best. I personally like the bloody pengu smack with landmines to make the blood-trailing severed head go even farther, because I'm good at it. I didn't link to things like that horrible Crimson Room or Viridian Room or the helicopter-in-the-chute game or the sperm game. Those are far too irritating and really not suitable for a work environment. I also didn't include the weird Pong version of "Undress Captain Jack Sparrow" because he's an anime drawing and not the real thing. If it was the real thing, I'd never get any work done. So if you want that, you have to go to Dave Barry's blog and click on Productivity Enhancers in the Category Archives. (Don't click on "Unfit for the Office Unless You Work for the Osbornes." Just don't.) There are also various versions of Pong in there, including a circular one that drives me bonkers, but I play it anyway. That's also where I found Starsky and Hutch Pinball but it doesn't have a satisfactory amount of Owen Wilson in it, so it's just so-so. So! Go waste time in the best ways possible, and look for me in the high-score lists. That will be about as productive as actually playing the games, because I'm not in there.